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Classified Ad Bloopers!
The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers: Free Yorkshire Terrior. 8 years-old. Hateful little dog. ---------------------------------- Free Puppies: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel 1/2 Sneaky Neighbor's Dog ---------------------------------- Free Puppies: Part German Shepherd Part Stupid Dog ---------------------------------- German Shepherd - 85lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free! ---------------------------------- 1 Man, 7 Women hot tub -- $850/offer ---------------------------------- Amana Washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed. ---------------------------------- Snow blower for sale. Only used on snowy days. ---------------------------------- 2 Wire mesh butchering gloves: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair $15. ---------------------------------- Tickle Me Elmo, Still in Box, Comes with its own 1988 Mustang, 5L, Auto Excellent Condition, $6,800. ---------------------------------- 83 Toyota Hunchback -- $2,000 ---------------------------------- Star Wars Job of the Hut -- $15 ---------------------------------- Soft & Genital Bath Tissues or Facial Tischue - $.89 ---------------------------------- Full-Sized Mattress 20 Year Warranty Like New! Slight urine smell. ---------------------------------- FREE 1 Can of Pork & Beans With Purchase of 3 BR / 2 BTH Home ---------------------------------- Nordic Track $300 Hardly used. Call Chubbie. ---------------------------------- Bill's Septic Cleaning "We Haul American Made Products" ---------------------------------- Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks ---------------------------------- HUMMELS - Largest Selection Ever! "If it's in stock, we have it!" ---------------------------------- Get a Little John: The Traveling Urinal Holds 2 1/2 Bottles of Beer. ---------------------------------- Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club ---------------------------------- Georgia Peaches California Grown - $.89/lb. ---------------------------------- Nice Parachute Never Opened - Used Once Slightly Stained ---------------------------------- American Flag 60 Stars - Pole Included - $100 ---------------------------------- Tired of Working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting Pay: $7-9 per hour. ---------------------------------- Exercise Equipment Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175 ---------------------------------- Our Sofa Seats the Whole Mob! And it's made of 100% Italian Leather. ---------------------------------- Joining Nudist Colony! Must Sell Washer & Dryer - $300 ---------------------------------- Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty. ---------------------------------- Alzheimer's Center Prepares for an Affair to Remember ---------------------------------- Gas Cloud Clears out Taco Bell ---------------------------------- Open House! Body Shapers Toning Salon Free Coffee & Donuts ---------------------------------- Kellogg's Pot Tarts - $1.99/box. ---------------------------------- Fully Cooked Boneless Smoked Mann $2.09/lb. ---------------------------------- FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes - Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.


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